nOt My PiCk

I really wanted my first blog to be lighthearted, fun, oozing with the abundant life that is made available with happy cheery overtones, possibly with a whimsical title something like “tickled pickled!” But one lesson I have learned about this life, is that it’s “not my pick!”

Over and over I have seen that You know best and thankfully You have my best interest at heart, and things I would never have picked for myself have turned out to be the very things that have grown me and shaped me to be just a little more like You on my way to You!

Today my heart is very heavy so this morning when You woke me at 4:30 I did not even argue about getting out of bed. I could not wait to sit with You and beg you for direction and see how You would guide me!

Yesterday you pointed me to Ephesians 6 where I was reminded of the armor we are to put on! It is hard to believe by an act of my will in obedience to You that You will give me “Your strength and Your power” that I desperately need to make it through. And today you point again to the very same verse (I love it when you do that!).

This armor will “help me to stand against the schemes of the devil (who is always at work to destroy) for my struggle is not against flesh and blood (that I can see) but against the rulers, authorities, and powers of the dark world and spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realm (that I cannot see).” So I would be crazy NOT to put on this armor and wrong to misidentify the enemy!

TRUTH – belt of truth buckled around my waist
RIGHTEOUSNESS – breastplate of righteousness
READINESS – feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace
FAITH – shield of faith to extinguish flaming arrows
SALVATION – helmet of salvation
WORD – sword of the spirit, which is the Word of God

The whole of these identifies me with You, and puts me on Your team and says I am supported by You. This is how you prepare me for the battle.

However, even with that said, I still have feelings of hopelessness because of the size of this task. The prayers that Stormie Omartian suggests praying (from The Power of Praying for Your Adult Children) seem impossible even though I know it is true that “nothing is impossible with You!” ( Luke 1:37). So I “come boldly to Your throne of grace with confidence to receive mercy and find grace in this time of need!” (Heb 4:16). And I am praying against this feeling of hopelessness and instead I will pray for a way when there seems to not be one. I am asking for direction to uncloud my confusion. I am asking for a plan because I have learned through trial and error that I do not want to do mine, but Yours! And please give me a love like Yours so that I would be a reflection of your unconditional never ending beautiful lovingkindness that reaches beyond anything and anyone. Give me wisdom to discern what is best “that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight so that you may be able to discern what is best” (Phil 1:9-11).

That is a lot to ask, but You say it is there for the asking! So I am trusting that You will:
Make a way even though I can’t see one
​Give me direction because I need to know what to do
​Pitch a plan because everything goes better with a plan
​Help me to show love through it all because You are love
​Give me wisdom to discern what is best because You know and I don’t

And with a heavy heart, I will suit up in the armor You have designed just for me, and I will go forward with confidence knowing that “not my pick,” but Yours, will teach me today! Help me not to miss it!

JOURNAL TO BLOG

I’ve journaled through the past 30 years and I can see many benefits!

GROWTH  By just taking on the task of “writing it down” — whatever “it” is, I can see as I read back through, that I have grown through my journals.  I have learned by doing!  Because everything that you do for any length of time, you get a little better at with time.

INSIGHT  I have learned things about myself, about God and His Word, and about others as I have disciplined myself to write it down.  Sometimes I grab my journal without knowing what I will write — that is an intriguing time because I find I learn something just because I wrote!

MEMORIES  I wrote in a “diary just like my grandma” at the young age of 12.  Those entries were pretty predictable and a little stagnant, repeatedly including what time I awoke, what I did, where I went, and even what I wore on a short little page each day.  There is not much to harvest from that, but the discipline of writing began.  I later learned that sharing my feelings and my memories were much more fun to read through again later than the daily statistics of the day.  The addition of photos and scraps makes the memories even more memorable.

TRACING GOD’S HAND  My favorite thing is harvesting my journal.  Nothing takes God by surprise in my life like it does me, and nothing is too difficult for Him, like it seems to be for me!  So when I read back through my journal, after the events of my life, a clear picture of Him at work in my life comes into view in a way that it never would have without this Monday morning quarterbacking, sometimes years later!  I absolutely love being able to trace His hand in my journey on my way to Him.

I will probably continue to “write” in my pretty journals, but today I will begin to “blog” too.